The first thing I need to tell you is that I went to seminars and workshops and church functions for YEARS to learn how to be a wonderful wife and mother. I used to lecture my younger sister and brothers, all of whom had children before I did. I would expound to them the need for discipline and how to teach children the proper things in life. I had all kinds of advice and input and observations. Oh, I was full of it.
I had Rebekah late in life, after getting married in my 30’s. In my marriage, along with my new husband came 4 children from a previous marriage. Rebekah was born almost a year later, so within a year, I was a wife and mother of 5. Now, I have always loved children and still work closely with children in different ministries. When I was young, I wanted to have 100 children and even went to the extent of selecting 100 names (first and middle) in preparation.
I still love children and have always wanted to work with children. I’ve studied and trained in every imaginable topic relating to children. Here’s the thing: once I had children, I stopped giving advice. My siblings were thrilled. Actually, they secretly giggled as I went through all the growing pains (multiplied by 5) that they had endured before me. They were supportive and helpful and not once did either of them mention that I certainly was quiet on the “teaching front” lately. They just watched. And prayed.
It was a lot to transition into: single woman in late 30’s suddenly has husband and 5 kids. I mean, what was the Lord thinking? Have you ever wondered that when you end up somewhere you didn’t remember driving to? I mean, I prayed for marriage and trained for marriage. I prayed for children and trained for children. I spent every day of my life waiting to have my family. So, I was thrilled!
Quickly after “thrilled” I was thrilled and overwhelmed and there wasn’t a big patch of time between those two stages. I’ve always been surrounded by lots of kids. I prided myself on being able to manage groups of kids. I was the director of this group or the teacher for that group. I had nieces and nephews and godchildren. I really knew a lot. Until the kids showed up.
I found out that the equation changes when you throw the kids into the mix of knowledge. Suddenly, all the things you learned and maybe even applied at various times to other children just don’t have the same impact when dealing with your own child. Certainly, the impact of all my knowledge was barely perceivable when in the mix of 5 children.
Wow.
But the Lord did know what He was doing and I changed in dramatic fashion within the years of going from single beach girl to Mom of 5. Let me just say that I have a high respect for training from those who know what they’re doing. However, no amount of training matches living the real thing. There are some things that just aren’t covered in books.
Literally, it was me and in the length of a marriage ceremony, it was “us.” A lot of us. And before I even settled into that, I soon was pregnant (okay there’s a topic that will need its own section). And then, there were 7 of us. So, I plan to write about it for those of you who may be getting or have just gotten married into an already-existing family. Sometimes they’re called “blended families.” Sometimes they’re called “disasters.” Either way, it is an adventure and worth writing about.
I learned so much. I grew so much. I hurt so much. I loved so much. I was blessed so much. So, the name of this section is “I do. Zero to 7” and boy, are you in for a ride. Some things I just can’t tell you, but I can tell you the principle that applies and how I learned to use the principle from God’s Word to grow into the woman He intended me to be. I can tell you how I use those same principles for my own daughter and still use them today in my life. I can tell you the strength I got from that time.
The marriage ended in divorce years later, but today I still use what I learned from my “crash course.” And they are some of the most valuable tools I have: what I learned in difficult times.
Get ready, set, let’s go!
Connie
